“Harry Potter and the Cursed Child” by John Tiffany and Jack Thorne

I tried SO hard to like this book, I heard tons about the play, and I think we all heard the “controversy” over a black Hermione (which I think was kind of cool. People have no issue with traditionally black characters being portrayed white, but the other way around causes havoc – whoops, did that get a little too political?). I tried to ignore the non-ignorant complaints and give this book a fair chance.

I have nothing against fanficiton. A lot of books I read are official fanfictions. Hell, next weeks review is technically a fanfiction as well. Some of it is incredibly well done, and some are incredibly horrible (looking at you 50 shades …which, FYI, is just Twilight fanfiction).

It felt like they took everything magical and fun about the world of Harry potter, and tried to write a HarryxDraco fanfiction …but through their sons.

The premise of the story is Harry’s eldest son is an entitled asshole with no redeeming qualities (I dubbed the book in my head “Harry Potter and the privileged white boy). He spends the entire book complaining how much it sucks having a super popular father, how he has no talent at magic the way his father did, and how no one likes him so he has no friends. I understand the pissy at popular dad part, but not to the extent they portray it. Plus, Harry was NOT a phenomenal wizard, without Hermione he’d be dead in his first year. So that entire situation really turned me off of Albus. The CONSTANT whining, the constant throwing everything in Harry’s face for NO reason. Though, I think this comes across this way because it is written as a play (not a screenplay like Fantastic Beasts, though the layout is different, there are more stage directions and reference to set pieces in this) and 4 years of Albus’ school life are shown as snippets of conversation and rapidly changing scenes. We get really not set up, they are writing as if we all have previous knowledge of the Potter Family in those 4 years …but we were only introduced to Albus as an epilogue.

My rant on my hatred of Albus ran a little long …and could run longer. But, I should move on.

The plot of this books is people believe Draco’s son is actually Voldemort’s son because everyone believes the death eaters still have their hand on a time turner (Ministry destroyed them all). So the plot is basically “fix all of Albus’ fuck-ups and don’t think about Voldemort having sex with some poor girl”. Amos Diggory had also heard the rumor and believes the Ministry has one hidden, so he wants Harry to go back in time and save his son.

I’m enough of a Doctor Who fan, I honestly yelled “fixed point in time!” at the book. As you can imagine, the rest of the book is an example why time-travel is bad, and why children should not play with it.

The end of the book is where Harry learns how to talk to his son, Albus learns not to be a dick (he still is, but I got a kick out of Draco’s son yelling pretty much all the same things I did at Albus), and it’s all heart warming and yadda-yadda (or at least, supposed to be, by that point I hated everyone). It was all 7 books of Harry Potter written backwards.

I know JK Rowling herself likes this, but I can’t. I just can’t. They take the magic, fun, and mystery out of Harry Potter and leave us with a shell of what it was. Many people liked it, and liked it a lot. So this is definitely a read at your own discretion, I will not be reading it again, or actively recommending it. Sorry hardcore fans, but I did try.

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